Kian and Jc Read online

  KIAN: When O2L ended, we had something like 2.3 million subscribers, but with our new channel, we had to start all over from scratch.

  JC: The response to the new channel was excitement. Once people saw that even though O2L had broken up and we were still doing our own things, the fans were cool with it. It wasn’t like, Oh, Kian and Jc broke up from O2L and wanted to go solo. People started to get into it. And quickly, our channel became a hit on YouTube. We went from no subscribers in January to nearly two million now.

  KIAN: Now it’s a good thing that people are used to it. Everyone in the group had different aspirations, and O2L wasn’t going to last forever, and now we’re all getting to do our own thing. I think people respect that.

  JC: Kian and I are just on the same wavelength about things. With O2L, we’d have to get six guys to agree; now there’s just the two of us deciding what to do.

  KIAN: The videos we do are more personal and straightforward. They’re more direct and honest. It’s not just the big things but the tone. The tone is the thing that’s the most different.

  JC: Our audience is more mature now. We don’t have to bleep the bad words out, and the audience can get the sex jokes we make!

  KIAN: It’s not like we consciously try to put in extra sex jokes or swearing or whatever. It’s just that with our new videos, we don’t hold back. It’s more true to who we are and what we think is funny. We didn’t have a real vision going into this new channel, thinking, Oh, we’re gonna get more money, or have new, different fans or anything like that. We were just going into it being ourselves, and we thought that whatever happens will happen. And the great thing is that the fans have really responded. Last I looked, we’re at more than one hundred million views. The response has totally blown us away. We’re making a living doing this—and that’s just awesome.

  JC: We’re always looking to challenge ourselves, to see what’s different, what’s new. I don’t want to ever get too comfortable. I want to push the boundaries and constantly give our fans something they haven’t seen before. And this is the vehicle for it. We’re doing everything we ever wanted to—skits, short films, challenges, pranks, sit-down series, and vlogs—all sorts of things. We’re not the first duo to ever do a channel, but we’re always working to do things on it that no one has ever done.

  KIAN: And we’re going to bring more on the Kian and Jc Channel, stuff we haven’t done before: things like outtakes, deleted scenes, bloopers, bonus content—we’re always trying to come up with new ideas and create new content.

  JC: We’re always working on our videos. We have film days scheduled once a week with a film crew, but then we film ourselves over the weekend and on Monday, then we have the rest of the week to write and edit skits. We try to mix in the more produced stuff with the more down-and-dirty stuff. We just want to keep pushing ourselves, trying new things, seeing what our fans react to. It’s all one big experiment. People ask how we come up with our skits, and I always say we’re just not afraid to try anything. There’s no secret formula. We just put ourselves out there, we’re real about it, and we deal with whatever comes.

  KIAN: What changed the most after O2L was that when you’re in a group of six people, you spend maybe one day filming, and then you have to wait a whole week until it’s your turn again. Now we get to make videos at least twice a week.

  JC: This is our baby. It’s our lives. We spend all our time working on our channel. It means so much to us, and we really care about the quality of what we put out.

  KIAN: What pisses me off is when I see people on YouTube just doing stupid, boring stuff, like showing their abs or whatever, just so they can go around and brag. It’s like, Hey, dudes, I have fifteen thousand followers! And then they move out to LA and try to make it here, and they can’t, because they don’t work at what they do. They think they can just throw anything up on YouTube and people will watch. Kids know what’s crap and what isn’t. People don’t always get it, but the kids who watch YouTube can spot a poseur from a mile away.

  KIAN: AFTER THAT RUN-IN WITH THE GANGSTAS, WE MOVED OUT OF THAT HOUSE PRETTY MUCH IMMEDIATELY.

  JC: Even though we paid a year’s rent up front! We tried to get our money back, but they told us that we did a hundred thousand dollars’ worth of damage to the house—

  KIAN: Which was pretty much true.

  JC: So while we were looking for a new place to live, we spent the next four weeks living in four different hotels. We kept getting kicked out! The first hotel was a really nice, expensive place that turned out to be real sticklers about us keeping our rooms clean. We’d throw food wrappers on our floor and stuff, and after a few days they started hinting that we should leave.

  KIAN: They just didn’t make us feel welcome anymore.

  JC: We got kicked out of the next hotel the same night we checked in. It was three in the morning when they booted us for being too loud. We had nowhere to go, so we had to crash with friends for the night. Then the third hotel we stayed at for a good week or so—

  KIAN: Before we got kicked out again.

  JC: We were filming a challenge video where the loser had to go down to the hotel lobby in his underwear and ask the first employee he saw to marry him.

  KIAN: And I lost. But I didn’t want to wear just my boxers, so I decided to put on these really short shorts.

  JC: So while Kian was doing his thing, I was going to pants him, but I accidentally pulled his shorts too hard, and his underwear came down with them. He flashed his junk to the hotel employee.

  KIAN: Technically, we didn’t get kicked out, but when we tried to book rooms for the next week, they told us they were “sold out.” I’m just sayin’ . . . It was rough, trying to find a new home while we were staying at hotels. We had no kitchen. We had to live off of gas station food and hotel food. We were living out of our suitcases. And we were working. We were still making videos. Those four weeks sucked.

  JC: But then we finally found the house where we are now. And we love it! It’s such a great place to film our stuff! We have a pool, pool table, lots of room for activities—everything a growing boy needs.

  KIAN: ONE OF THE CRAZIEST THINGS WE EVER DID WAS PLAY MARCO POLO PAINTBALL WITH THE JANOSKIANS.

  We’ve been friends with them for a while. They do a lot of the same kinds of things we do—crazy challenges and stuff. So we wanted to bring our two worlds together and see what would happen.

  JC: The paintball challenge was one of the craziest, most painful things I’ve ever done! We had one shooter who was blindfolded, and then the rest of us lined up against a wall, shirtless, and he said, “Marco,” and we all had to say, “Polo,” and then we got shot.

  KIAN: I got hit six times! Once in the ass! Oh man, you know that feeling when you get hit in the ass so hard that you immediately want to throw up? I had to grab my butt cheeks and run away.

  JC: I got shot seven or eight times. Getting shot with a paintball while you’re shirtless frickin’ hurts!

  KIAN: What about a coin-toss Taser challenge?

  JC: Huh? Who wants to do that?

  KIAN: Me and you!

  JC: No, we definitely never talked about doing that.

  KIAN: You toss a coin, and see if it comes up heads or tails, and that says whether or not you get Tased.

  JC: That does not sound fun at all.

  KIAN: Okay, maybe not a Taser. Maybe a stun gun. Something that can shock the piss out of you!

  JC: We definitely do a lot more dangerous, painful stuff now with our new channel. Like when we do challenges with mousetraps and stuff. Yeah, it’ll hurt for a little bit, but it goes away, and it’s fun. Plus, I can take the pain better than Kian.

  KIAN: It’s true: I scream a lot. People are always making comments like, Oh, don’t get hurt for our entertainment! but those are the videos that do the damn best. The more it hurts, the more views we get. They’re the ones that people secretly want us to do!

  I LOVE TAKING ROAD TRIPS. I LOVE DRIVING. I LOVE GETTING TO SEE THE
WORLD.

  I love just being on the move. So I decided to document the latest trip I took by turning the whole thing into a seven-video series that I aired on my own personal YouTube channel.

  I went on the trip with a few of my really close friends—Dom, Anthony, JJ, Louis, and Guigs. I chose each one because he has a special talent: we’re filmmakers, graphic designers, daily bloggers, and YouTubers. It was a total dream team. Every one of us loved being on the road and loved traveling and experiencing things.

  We decided to go up the West Coast and stop in San Francisco, Portland, Seattle, all the way up to Vancouver, and then hit Boise, Salt Lake City, Arches National Park, and wrap up in Vegas before heading home. We scheduled four meet-ups while we were traveling, and I’m being completely serious when I say we were late to every single one! It got progressively worse as we went: at the first stop we were three hours late; the second stop we were eight hours late; and by the time of the third stop, we were so late that we just had to skip it. (We were actually on time for our fourth scheduled stop, but only because we had canceled the third.)

  At the first stop in Oregon, at Haystack Rock, we had a meet-up with, like, 150 people. Totally chill. So much fun. Louis actually caught a seagull. Don’t ask me how. Of course, he let it go. No animals were harmed in the making of this—no worries.

  Seattle was the craziest. We parked the RV in a lot before we were going to head out to a meet-up, and there was this sketchy-looking guy there. We didn’t think too much about it. But then when we got back, he was still there, and he came up to us and told us there was a bomb under our RV. We freaked. We had to call the cops. Turns out the guy was a little loco and had been telling people he was a bodyguard. So weird. There was no bomb, but it still really had us all freaked out. After that we started going toward Arches National Park in Utah, but on the way we stopped in Boise, Idaho—but didn’t do anything there! Seriously, there were, like, maybe three fans in that whole town, so we met them at a skate park to say hey, and then we just kept on going.

  It was awesome. It was just the greatest experience, driving around with my friends, meeting fans, and seeing a little bit of the ol’ USA. After I’m done filming Tagged, this new TV series I’m working on, I can’t wait to go out again.

  ACTUALLY, THE IDEA OF MARRIAGE ISN’T THAT BIG A DEAL FOR ME.

  I mean, I hope I’m eventually with someone who I really love, want to be with for the rest of my life. When you’re with a girl and you’re doing things and you’re into each other and feeling the love, I don’t know why you need to put a label on it. Either you’re with someone or you’re not. I mean, when’s the clear line before you’re considered someone’s girlfriend or boyfriend? There isn’t. You just kind of ease into it. It should happen naturally. No amount of calling it something is going to make it something if it’s not something already.

  That said, I definitely want to have kids someday. I want a little me. Definitely. I want a legacy. I want a son so bad, so I can continue myself through my son. I want my son to be totally badass—even more badass than me. And then when he has a son, I want him to be even more badass than his dad! I want to do my part to keep the badass line going.

  I MENTIONED TO MY MANAGER THAT I WANTED TO DO SOME MORE ACTING

  in TV shows or movies or whatever. I asked if he could get me scripts to read and help me get into that world. So he sent me a script for this horror film called The Chosen. If you haven’t seen it, it’s awesome. It’s about a child-stealing demon who attaches itself to this little girl, and we have to battle the evil and send the demon back to hell. I was totally blown away. I knew it could be supercool, and I knew I could act the hell out of this part. So I read for a role, and I got it! It was crazy.

  The first time I went onto the set, I felt totally overwhelmed. Making a movie is way different than filming one of our videos. There are lots of people telling you what to do and where to stand. I went from a little camera and just me and Jc in a room, where we’re totally in control, to this huge project, where you have to trust in the process! It took time, but I got used to it, and it wound up being a great experience.

  After that I was hooked; acting was like a drug. I read through more and more scripts, and found another one, this time a movie called Shovel Buddies. It’s more of a dark comedy, about three friends who come together to do right by their friend who just died of leukemia. His parents want to cremate him, so they steal his body to make sure he gets buried the way he wanted—in his football uniform. It was a tough shoot for me. But luckily, the guy I played (Dan) is a lot like me. I had to shave my head. That kind of broke me. And I had to wear glasses. There was this one scene where I had to carry the dead body up a hill. I don’t even want to say how many takes we had to do on that one. But I’m so proud of the final film. It’s really awesome.

  Beef or pork?

  JC: Beef.

  KIAN: Beef.

  Do you believe in aliens?

  KIAN: Yes, but they don’t look like us. They look like plants, or floating red balls with strings hanging down, or whatever—but there has to be life outside of Earth.

  JC: Most definitely! We have no idea how big the universe is, so there has to be something else out there.

  If you were the Presidents of the United States, what would be the first thing you would do?

  KIAN: I’d release all the top-secret documents on UFOs and aliens.

  JC: I’d change the education system completely. Kids need to learn more street-smart things—like changing a tire, buying a house, paying taxes—and a lot less calculus, which you never use.

  If you could have any superpower, what would it be?

  JC: I’d want to fly or be able to teleport.

  KIAN: Instant regeneration. So I can do crazy stuff, come back to life, and do it again.

  What is your favorite non–house pet animal?

  JC: Anything that’s a baby—baby tiger, baby lion, baby jaguar. They’re totally cute. But when they grow older, they get scary.

  KIAN: Bobcat or lion. Look at them! They’re cats, but they have these big heads. Or a sea horse. Sea horses are awesome.

  What’s the best way to eat an Oreo?

  KIAN: With a fork. Put a fork down the middle of the stuffing so your fingers don’t get wet and drop it in a glass of milk.

  JC: Put it in milk. No doubt.

  When it comes to toilet paper, are you a crumpler or a folder?

  KIAN: Crumpler.

  JC: Definitely crumpler.

  What’s the best way to break up with a girl?

  JC: Put it on a banner on a plane. Hey, you asked for the “best” way. Ha-ha. I’m kidding. Definitely just tell her how you feel. Everything works out when you’re honest.

  KIAN: I’d be up front, no guessing games. Tell her exactly how I feel.

  What’s your perfect pizza?

  KIAN: Pepperoni with garlic crust!

  JC: Extra cheese, mushrooms, olives, Canadian bacon, and pepperoni.

  OKAY, THIS IS TOTALLY BIZARRE. WE WERE JUST SITTING HERE,

  writing our book, when there was a knock at the door. We’re friendly guys, so we opened the door, and who do you think we found, standing there? Us! Well, not us, because that would be impossible. Duh.

  We mean that they were eighty-year-old us’s from the future! They must have stolen a time machine or whatever. We didn’t ask.

  Like we said, we’re friendly guys, so we invited them in for pizza, and asked them some questions. We thought you might be interested in the answers.

  JC: Hey, eighty-year-old Jc! So, what kind of advice can you give me?

  OLD JC: Well, the first thing that pops into my mind is that you’re going to hook up with this girl next year. Don’t. She’s going to completely mess you over.

  JC: Wow. Thanks.

  OLD JC: But also enjoy yourself. Have fun in your life. Do what you want to do, and be with someone who makes you feel good.

  JC: Wow. I’m deep when I’m old.

 
KIAN: Hey, old me. I see you’re totally neck-to-foot tattooed. Nice!

  OLD KIAN: Yep. My grandkids are tatted up too!

  KIAN: Badass! Nice hovering electric scooter by the way.

  OLD KIAN: Yeah, it’s pretty cool. I did really well as a director/actor/editor before I retired. I did everything I ever wanted to do—and more.

  KIAN: Any advice?

  OLD KIAN: Brush your damn teeth. Seriously, we eat all that stupid candy, and now I’ve got a full set of dentures. You know how hard it is to get romantic with the ladies when you have to pop your teeth out first?

  KIAN: Can you tell me, like, what the next lottery numbers will be or who wins the Super Bowl next year?

  OLD KIAN: I would, but then the fabric of the universe would tear apart, and we’d all die in a cataclysm of fire and brimstone.

  KIAN: Gotcha. So are you and eighty-year-old Jc still friends?

  OLD KIAN: Oh hell yeah! We’ve stayed friends through it all, and it was a hell of a life.

  We ate some more pizza and watched some TV, but then we had to ask . . .

  JC: So, do you guys want to make a video with us? The whole deal: paintballs, mousetraps, electric shocks?

  OLD KIAN & OLD JC: Guys, by the time you reach our age, that stuff doesn’t cut it anymore. We play with grenades now and bear traps. But hell yeah! Let’s do it anyway.

  WE WON’T EVER STOP DOING WHAT WE’RE DOING. . . .